Stop Motion Dancing

Iron Baby

Talking Back to the Future

Stuart Smalley. Because he's good enough and smart enough and doggone it, people like him

Stuart Smalley understands: you have to affirm yourself because it’s not very likely that other people will do it for you. Stuart would also recommend that you plan ahead so that your future self knows that your present and past selves are there for you, cheering you on.

Technology makes self-affirmation easier than ever with a twist on the old-fashioned time capsule; instead of burying meaningful items in the ground, you can now send an email from your past self to your present/future self. If you feel strongly about communicating with yourself.  And of course you do.

FutureMe.org makes it possible to send love to yourself at any time in the future you choose.  If you need affirmation inspiration, feel free to take a lesson from the Master Affirmer’s audiobook: “You’re Good Enough, You’re Smart Enough, And Doggone It People Like You: A Healing Journey Through The Dysfunctional Forest And Other Guided Visualizations.”

Go ahead.  Talk to yourself.  Who needs friends?

Bad Trip

Think I’ll Pass

Hand Jive

Sometimes it’s necessary to communicate with someone in a manner that’s not understood by those around you.  Think spies or baseball umpires.  Here’s a primer for some basic but necessary hand signals.

It’s Never Too Early

American babies are cute but that’s about it.  Seriously, as a parent, what do they do for you? Nothing!  They expect you to do everything for them –  feed them, wipe their butts, haul them around, provide entertainment, and on and on.  Your reward for catering to the little brats is nothing more than drudgery, sleep deprivation, foreign substances left on your clothes and a limited social life.   This pattern becomes ingrained and the next thing you know, your baby is 27, living in the basement, playing video games while you’re out pounding the pavement trying to make a living.

Americans should follow the example of the Japanese.  The Japanese don’t believe in entitlement.  They know the value of a strong work ethic.  And it’s payed off for them.  If the Japanese didn’t work like robots, where would we get our electronics and Manga?  Do you think you could get a smart phone made in the US?  Puhlease.

It’s time for parents to put their foot down and demand their freeloading offspring earn their keep.  It’s never too early to learn to help around the house.  No work, no eat.
Introducing: Baby Mop!

Baby Mop found at LittleBirdieSecrets.blogspot.com

No kids but but you have a cat laying around your house?  Frankly, there’s very little difference between kids and pets.  Put Kitty to work for those Tender Vittles.

Kitty mop found at LittleBirdieSecrets.blogspot.com

Youth and “helplessness” is no excuse for freeloading.   So take a load off and put Junior to work today.  Your floors will never look better.

Try Prunes. They Work. Here’s Proof.

Now ain’t that some sh*t?

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gary’s fine jewelry and stuff

8088Design’s Shop Announcement

i need money becuse i havne none left and i need food and vodfka money and the truckin compny are being jerks so im having a 34 perfecnt off sale on my jewrley and look that dont include shippings because john at the pos toffice is a total jerk and i odnt like that guy and tehy said i have to refund the 34 perfcent on the paypals so yeah but im jhaving a sale please buy my jewelry please im gonna be out of booze in liek 2 days and i cant have thatmy name is gary i started making jewelry cuz my wife left me. she left a whole box of beads in the basement and i didn’t know what to do with it i make really good jewelry and if anyone disagrees we are not friends i use my son kevin as a model hes not very good but i cant afford a real one. he complains that the clothes i make him wear are too bright and revealing but he owes me money so whateveri give hijmm a place to stay and no one likes him i know what the people want and he dont because he didnt finish college then he tells me that i didnt either but that doesnt matter i make jewelry im also a trucker but that isnt important to jewelry people come look at my shop and buy my stuff its really pretty thank you love gary.
kevin told me to put this in here don’t know why im the dad i should tell him what to do but no he gets his attitude from his crappy mom

http://www.facebook.com/pages/garys-fine-jewelry-and-stuff/336497962533?v=wall

kevin what do i do with that stupid tweeter thing you made me oh your gonna put it in here ok i dont know how to do this stuff this internet is scary

Tweets by garysfinejewelr

           

I can’t tell if Kevin enjoys humiliation or if he needs rescuing.

It appears that  his dad, Gary, is in some kind of trouble again.  His site evidently sold out following his big 34% off sale and  he may be on an extended drunk.  Talent like Gary demonstrates in his jewelry can’t be explained solely as unique, God-given talent.  It stands to reason that chemicals of some sort are involved in the creative process.  Mixed with some misplaced anger.  Stirred up with some good-ol’ American redneckedness.

I’m still conflicted about Kevin.

If Gary ever returns to jewelry design up, you, too, could be a proud contributor to excessive alcoholism and COPD from Marlboro abuse.

Free Wheeling

Mr. April (Geriatric Dude Calendar)

via Humor-in-photos-and-picctures.blogspot.com

A little accompanying theme music:

Two Wheels Move the Soul, Sasha and the Motorodeo MMC